I had always heard the Marriage
Myth that the first year is the hardest, and it's a make it or
break it year for you and your spouse. I never thought in a million years
that a simple piece of paper would ever really change mine and
Eric's relationship. But honestly, the past six month of marriage have truly
been an exciting time for us and it's been a season of growth. If you read
Tuesday's post celebrating our Six Month Anniversary, you know mine and
Eric's love story. We've been in each other's lives for a long time, (since I
was thirteen.) As far as our relationship history, we started dating in July
2012, got engaged January 2015, and got married September 2015.
I thought it would be fun to
link this week's two posts to the same subject and continue celebrating our six
month wedding anniversary by sharing with you a few key things I have
learned about marriage, so far. Believe me, Eric and I are not
perfect, but we have learned a few things that have made our
transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife a little smoother.
Here are 5 Things I've learned
about Marriage, so far:
Communication is Key. Having an open line of
communication is so important in any relationship, let alone your
relationship with your spouse. Being able to communicate openly and honestly is
super important, also! If you can't talk to your spouse about something, who
else can you talk to?? Your spouse should know you better than anyone
else, and having good communication is a key way to get there. Also,
communicating with each other about schedules, work obligations, and family
functions is also a must. Keep each other in the loop about everything, and
things will run smoothly.
Marriage is all about
Teamwork. There
is definitely a lot of give and take in marriage. Eric and I have
had to get into the habit of helping each other out around the house, and in
the kitchen. I know Eric loves when I make dinner for him, but
sometimes it doesn't feel quite fair that I'm slaving away in the kitchen while
he's playing video games after we have both worked a long day. He has gotten a lot better about helping out, or even
just asking if I need help, before turning on the PlayStation.
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. I have heard this from
many married women in my life that I love and respect, including my mother, my
mother-in-law, my pastor's wife, etc. Nagging about the socks Eric leaves on
the floor, or not shutting the kitchen cabinet doors are nothing to start an
argument over. I can take the two seconds to shut the cabinets behind him, or
pick up socks literally sitting right next to the hamper. It's just NOT WORTH THE ARGUMENT! Someone please tell me my husband is not the
only one who drops his socks right next to the hamper, and not inside it!
Spend Time Apart. Missing a girls night here and
there might seem like no big deal, but when you start to feel disconnected from
your girlfriends, and they aren't looking for you, it's most likely
because you're not looking for them either! Yes, spending time with
your spouse is SUPER important, but keeping up with your girlfriends and him
keeping in touch with his guy friends, is just as important. Give your spouse
some time to miss you.
It's Okay to Keep some things
Private. Let
me clarify, this does NOT mean keeping things private from each other... this
to me means keeping some things private from family members, friends, and even
co-workers. If Eric and I have had an argument or disagreement, I am always
tempted to run and tell my side of the story to get sympathy from my mom, friend, mother-in-law, etc. Or try to get someone else to be on my side of the argument, but I remember this piece
of advice and now I think twice. An argument between husband and wife is not
the right subject to run and blab to someone else about. If in the future Eric and I can't seem to work it out on our own, I would want to assume we would seek advice from a married couple that we look up to and respect. I would hate to have gone and told our business to someone and later resolve the issue and have someone we love have a tainted opinion of Eric or myself, after he and I have solved our
disagreement.
I hope these tips have been helpful, or maybe just a reminder to let go of the little things, and continue to openly communicate with your loved one.
If you have any advice for Newlyweds, or Marriage Veterans, please leave a comment below!
xoxo.
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